Dearest Soul,

           How ironic things can be recently. I was told lately and in different occasions from many people that I’m so discreet and mysterious regarding my feelings and thoughts.And that I often acted like everything is OK when my looks and expressions tell quite the opposite ;I always smile even with the agony that lies beneath..

          It’s true, I must confess.. but not because I wanted to, but I found myself over the years forced to do so.. Every time I really need to talk to someone no one seems to be interested in listening. Simply because we rearly share something in common . Actually I discovered that beside having several bank accounts , we don’t have lots in common; we don’t read the same books, listen to the same music or watch the same movies; even our social activities differ . And in those rainy days when I really need some one , I keep in searching only to find non.And the fact that I use English alot especially when I’m emotional didn’t help at all, but I really can’t help it ; it was the way I was brought up , this is part of who I am, and I won’t change a bit about it. I discovered that it’s pretty easy to share the laughs rather than being dramatic and spell your guts out. Further more, there is a gab I tried so much time to fulfill, but I always seem to fail. 

         I learnt to step away and held things in the dark..I learnt to listen and never speak out.. I discovered that writing was and still the only means that worked in my case.

        And now after four years working with the same people , I managed to know a lot about them and they know non about me..Ironically neither they or I manage to bridge that gab in between or fulfill the void I feel inside..

        As a matter of fact, they are not bad at all.. The thing is we don’t share the same interests that’s all.. so I guess it’s quite natural that I grew such behaviour.. If they only try to show a genuine caring , things will definitely be different.. If they only could ask out of caring and sharing , not out of sheer curiosity.

         It’s very ironic that I’m described as a discreet person ; and all this time I was trying to reach out to people never got the courtesy to stop for once and try to really listen..  

                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                            The one and only,

                                                                                                                                      T.O.S.